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Thursday, May 27, 2004

Chess Newcomer Defeats supercomputer

Helsinki, From the Dissociated Press - A striking upset occurred in a special chess tourney here when relative newcomer, Iventen Bittitov, a low scoring new comer to professional chess with a ludicrously wealthy family that can pay to have special matches, defeated the superpowered computer IMSO Blue.

In the opening moves of the game, with only eight pieces left, Bittitov studied the computer's early castling move, picked up his remaining bishop, got up from his seat, smashed the unit to tiny pieces with an aluminum baseball bat, returned to his seat, placed the bishop in front of his opponent's queen, and said "Check".

Authorities have found the end game strategy controversial, but Bittitov indicated several precedents. At the court of Charlemagne, a hireling scholar of Alcuin recovered from a shrewd boxing-in strategy by moving his queen from his knight's three to his opponent's left eye. Similarly, at a feast celebrating the Peace of Westphalia, one of the Lords defeated a two piece checkmate strategy by the sheriff of the court grounds by summoning the royal executioner.

The judges found these citings moot but insisted that there was nothing against it in the official rules.